Love

It all starts with yourself and your own relationship with “I Is”, as the great master Anthony De Mallo said in one of his lectures.

Most of us though, and I am saying most of us, because it IS most of us, do not really know ourselves. We know what we like and what we don't, or how we react to this temptation or that interference in our life, but we do not see our image, nor our existence in this world from above. Rather, we live some kind of life that is being dragged behind our entity like a shadow in the best case. Or like a sack of potatoes in the worst case.

As we are aware of what these “potatoes” mean to us (usually early age traumas), we tend to develop big, strong muscles in order to carry them. Isn't it funny? I found myself, in my previous life, pushing up the hill a whole truck packed with potatos, watermelons, tomatoes, baby food cans, military beef conservation cans and much more “stuff” I'll describe another time. And guess what? I became an emotional weight-lifter who looks very good from the outside, but was very sad, weak, and had many broken relationships--including with myself--on the inside.

Now picture yourself again, with this sack dragging behind you--and just stay there. Look, observe, stare, but do not react to it yet. Now, take this vision you have and look around at the people that surround you. Did you notice that what you saw in your own vision is exactly the way people perceive you?

It doesn't matter what you are trying to show outside; it is the inner you that people see; or I would say: it is the inner you that people feel and this is exactly how they will behave with you.

So, if you see yourself as one who, for example, cannot complete a task or a mission, no one will grant you the privilege to do anything for them, even if your resume is the most amazing resume for a specific job. It is enough to take one look or a swift hand shake to tell everything about who you are on the inside.

If you were asking yourself why you cannot get a girlfriend who would love and and cherish every word you say, or will look you in the eyes and say "I love you"--if you ask yourself, Why I am 45 years old and not married yet after I've dated so many men?--the answer lies just here. It's because you're not ready! (Or you do not really want to be in this kind of relationship).

If you do wish to have it and it doesn't come, I'm sorry to tell you--it is not the world, nor the people around, but you! Think about it, there are so many people on planet earth, literally everywhere you go or surf (if we are discussing contemporary channels of communication). How come you cannot find ONE person to share the greatness of life with? Nothing, but nothing will work right with others unless you are complete with who you ARE. And please don't tell me “I guess I am too picky...”.

Some people find it very easy to look at themselves from above or from the side. Some people have difficulties doing that, and it is OK. Who said that everything has to come easily? There are some people who further say that nothing good comes easily. I personally do not agree with that as a general saying, but there's lots of truth in it.

If you ask me: What is the best way to get to this relationship that we all yearn for so much? I will just tell you: OPEN UP!

After you've observed yourself enough and accepted the fact that the potato sack is really yours and you actually CAN love it, the potatos themselves--in the most natural way--will sprout, and will be your emotional and mental food (unless you can eat shadows; then they will nourish your body too).

Once you've discovered that your heavy load is nothing but fuel for your existence (and organic) THEN, you are ready for a real relationship.

As a therapist, healer, helper, channel, philosopher and beyond just a simple user of life, I've found many people to be out of touch with their own selves, as if they were hanging the phone up on themselves every time something negative strikes their path. While it keeps happening this way for them, they will keep on living this life of in-between their bodies and their shadows.

All of this is because they did not have the courage to stand up in front of themselves and say: “I am so beautiful”, “I am so successful”, “I am in love with me”, “I have so many good qualities” and so forth.

OPEN UP means to be able to express yourself without fearing, without calculating how many people in the audience are going to laugh or to screen you like an X-ray machine. To open up means to be able to put your deepest emotions on the table and say, “This is me and these are my feelings” or simply to say, “I hate what you do to me,” “I love you without thinking why, and I don't care what you say.”

“Um... what if I say I' love you,' then he will think that I love him and so he will get away from me because that's what happens, usually, when I say that.” Well... this is what I was saying before, most of the people are not in a place of even being able to accept love from others because they do not love themselves, and why? Because someone told them that their boobs are too small or they are too hairy (not the boobs, or maybe yes...?) or their laugh is too loud.

Imagine that, this girl I know,didn't laugh for 20 years because when she was a small child someone told her--actually, it was a group of kids that told her (heartlessness)--that her laugh sounds like a moaning cow. 20 years! She had a well packed sack tied up strong to her daily existence. And what do you think, that when this girl is laughing today she doesn't sound like a moaning cow? She does! And it's extremely funny and SHE is laughing at it and makes everyone laugh. How come? Because she found that her laugh is a sweet potato that nourishes her being, that this is her greatness in a way. After all, you do not find people laughing like this every day, and to be honest, it's pretty much contagious.

So, as I always say, and many other people have said before, you have 2 main options to choose from with every single crossroad you reach, including of course relationships: either to find the positive outcome of what happened or what will happen; and be happy and jolly about it, or to get upset, depressed, angry or any other form of unpleasant reaction. It is pretty much straightforward: The first one will give you more years to live and the second one will simply shorten your life.

And if this is not enough for you to move yourself towards aiming your life toward more happiness, just think about the fact that you have legs, hands and you can walk and talk. This should definitely make you feel good. Stop for a minute close your eyes and breathe. WOW! That is awesome, no?

~ Ancient Persian saying

Thank you for reading, I love you and I wish you lots of sustainable happiness for the rest of your life.