Defending Unicorns

It doesn't take many posts from me to realize that I blog to defend our choices. I am pretty sure that if I had been allowed to just be my "hippy" self with my crazy ideals without various "relatives" constantly telling me that I am "wrong", this blog would never have existed. So, thanks guys! I almost completely lost myself when our son died, because I was so thoroughly sure that I must be wrong if I can't even keep my baby alive. (This is a broad generalization of the actual emotional whirlpool that we both experienced, and probably other family members felt as well.) It may sound ridiculous, but, it is true. I stopped arguing my views and, i don't know, kind of quit being. I just stopped having an opinion. I tried for the first three years at least to just "fit in". I did what everyone else did, and nodded and smiled a lot. I just didn't care, all the "causes" I felt for before seemed stupid and useless. Probably because the world seemed very "out of my hands". It felt as if nothing I did mattered. I don't remember the exact moment that I decided that my opinions could be different from others again, but I know that the first thing I felt brave enough to call BS on was God. That was caused by the startling realization that there are masses of people that still don't believe in evolution. I remember the moment I discovered this; I was having dinner in a crowded restaurant. After we got home, I was shocked that I had dared to be so bold about my opinion/belief. I really didn't realize before that time that I felt so strongly about the fact of evolution. It's been pretty much downhill since that night. I began to allow myself to have my own opinions. And, additionally, I have worked very hard to provide myself with arguments to support my views. I wouldn't have a reason too, but for the large majority of people I know (and love) who disagree. This is why I can no longer just randomly say "I will eat this, I will not eat this". I know that the first time certain people see me act on this new "view", they will question me, ridicule me, or worse, dismiss it. I really hated this before Ethan died. Now, I am grateful for it. It gives me a reason to teach my children to research and think. And, I have had to focus effort on the decisions, so I have made better and better choices all the time. Which brings me to the meat thing. We knew 2 years ago that we wanted to eat foods that are not harmful to our bodies, the environment, and that do not support damaging industries. Frankly, I am appalled at the amount of money that I have (after working long hours, away from my son to earn)fed into an economical system that only supports the degradation of my body and the earth, and aided in the downturn in the availability of healthy foods. To say that I will only eat meat that fits those stipulations is to say I will only eat unicorns that wander by my house. But, that is the goal eventually. I agree that animals should be allowed to live in conditions that are healthy for them (including psychologically). And I agree that, from a medical standpoint, meat is not necessary (especially not in the quantities that the american public seems to believe) or even good for you. But, I also feel that some of the substitutes available for certain animal products aren't good for you either. And, I feel that some people forget that we are animals, too; Meat played an important role in our evolutionary development. So, that is as far as I have gotten in the journey to this decision (that I will have to stalwartly defend). This is only going to cement in the view that I am completely insane, but there it is. I will only eat unicorns, when I can find them.